Humans have a gift – or a curse depending on how you want to look at it – the ability to plan ahead, to anticipate the future. It is clear why this would be a gift. Due to our ability to anticipate the future, our early ancestors were able to create wooden spears and kill animals for food. In fact, the reason for our ability to plan ahead is the reason we have managed to build anything. It may be difficult to see why this could ever be a curse, but it’s pretty straightforward. Our ability to plan ahead and anticipate the future prevents us from fully experiencing the present.

Humans tend to live every moment in anticipation of a better moment. However, that better moment will never come, because when it does, we wait for an even better one. We are constantly in a state of wanting more, of everything being imperfect.

“It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.”
– Seneca

Several self-help authors and motivational speakers, such as Tony Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuk,  and Grant Cardone, tell us to never be satisfied, to constantly be chasing and achieving more. This advice is at odds with various ancient belief systems, such as Stoicism, Buddhism, and Taoism. These teachings state that you should be content with what you have and not desire more. So, what is the correct way to live?

Our brain plays a game with us constantly. We think getting a certain thing, such as money, power, fame, or a hot girlfriend, will make us happy for the rest of our lives. However, we have all experienced a time when we thought that gaining something would make us happier but when we actually obtained it, we eventually just got used to having it. We constantly seem to be on this chase to just have that one thing that will make us happier, then once we get it, we are equally as happy as we were before and now we chase something else. There is a scientific name for this concept – the hedonic treadmill. So, is the answer to remove our desires for anything or keep running on the treadmill?

Is it even possible to remove all of our desires? In Buddhism, the whole aim and end goal is to reach a state called Nirvana, a state of no desire, no suffering, and no ego. Buddha is said to have reached this state. However, whether this state is actually achievable is debatable as it goes against human biology and how we have evolved.

If we cannot get rid of our desires, is there anything that we can do to lessen the suffering that these desires cause? First, I think it’s important to live in the moment more. Learn to be grateful for what you have right now. Second, I think we should align our desires in a way that serves humanity. Do you desire to be rich? Only make money in a way that benefits others as well. Do you desire status? Only get there by doing good deeds. Do you desire sex? Only do it within the confines of a marriage. Third, we need to accept unhappiness and suffering as a natural component of our existence. We constantly want this feeling of eternal happiness that we believe we will achieve if we fulfill our desires. But this eternal happiness is just an illusion. Yes, life is full of joy and beauty, but we also have to suffer.

So, take a moment to breathe, appreciate where you are, and consider how your desires can be channeled for positive impact. Remember, the moment may be insufficient, but it is the only one we truly have. Embrace it fully and let it be enough.